Up until very recently praise be to Shonda Rhimes , we were not the love interests. But he was hard to resist, because by just saying simple, trite things about how much he cared about me, he made me feel like royalty. Which was totally fine, and expected. The business site Quartz graphed these preferences using data on the percentage of "yes" responses to the "Are you interested? Answers to match questions have been getting significantly less biased over time:
Be attracted to whomever you want, but understand why you have these attractions and how they perpetuate racism if you're white, and how they reflect internalized racism if you're a person of color. But I have a feeling that some of us, and perhaps many women of color, are. Maybe this is an app just for weirdos who love Asian chicks and don't love black women? But why haven't we heard more about the dating preferences of Asian men? I wonder to what extent there's something about finding Asian women attractive online but not in "real life. Here's the bit from Quartz that's been fodder for some discussion: The biases shown in this data tell us about how individuals in our society factor in race when interacting with other individuals. But he was hard to resist, because by just saying simple, trite things about how much he cared about me, he made me feel like royalty. All men seemed to be more interested in people outside their race. The first, and only, boyfriend I ever had was a white guy. And as an added bonus, if we ended up having kids, I wouldn't worry as much about my daughter who would have lighter skin and curlier hair than I do having the same self-esteem issues that I did as a child. How would, say, the "mask" of screens affect our preferences? All women except black women are most drawn to white men, and men of all races with one notable exception prefer Asian women. In Five years ago, the basics of race and attraction on OkCupid looked like this: I put "preference" in quotes, because I think there's a very fine line that teeters between preferences and fetishization, but that could be a whole other conversation. But the researcher noticed that people who were contacted by someone of a different race on OKCupid were more likely to initiate contact or interact with someone of that race later on. Some quick facts from the OKCupid data: This just really gets in my craw, because it becomes a problem for the Asian women — Am I just loved because I'm part of an ethnic group that's assumed to be subservient, or do I have actual value as an individual, or is it both? This is why Lupita Nyong'o's rise to fame as a dark-skinned black woman is so relevant to our community. Up until very recently praise be to Shonda Rhimes , we were not the love interests. All men except Asians preferred Asian women, while all except black women preferred white men. Personal experiences include the black boys who made fun of me and made me feel ugly when I was a kid and the black men who have harassed me in public. I actually do think there must be some of the Asian fetishization, er, "yellow fever" at play here. Thinking about him all day rendered me basically useless as a productive human being. Which was totally fine, and expected. Loving oneself as a woman of color is as vital to survival as it is revolutionary.
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