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BDSM is particularly appealing to people like your wife, because she has the illusion of being forced to do it against her will, which fits with her desire to be a good girl. Does the fact that your wife has had sex with strangers make it worse than if she only cheated on you with one other man? The point was sex. It was never meant to hurt me, but was only for her own "selfishness". I strongly believe that it may also be helpful for you to work together in a marital therapy process, with different therapists than whom you are working with individually.

Bomdage sex

I think so long as she continues to see her actions as shameful, dirty and wrong, that will be how long she continues to find them appealing, because, again, it is exciting to be dirty and shameful. There is no going backwards here; no retreat is really possible without the both of you falling hopelessly into a state of denial. When you use the term "insanity" above, what specifically are you referring to? I strongly believe that it may also be helpful for you to work together in a marital therapy process, with different therapists than whom you are working with individually. BDSM sex is unapologetically sex concerned with generating intense sensual experiences; it is sex for pleasure even if the definition of what is pleasurable is defined in oddball ways. Would a normal single-partner sexual affair based on affection as well as sex have been less painful for you? Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only. If you need less than she does, that is not a reflection on your masculinity, although you might initially experience it as such. You may be able to salvage love and friendship and still have a broken marriage. Because there is no socially sanctioned outlet, people turn to underground practices, like pornography and BDSM to get their needs met. Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses. On a side note, many more conservative people have a similar revulsion for homosexual sex, I think, as gay sex is also seen as sex for pleasure and thus as a betrayal of values. It was never meant to hurt me, but was only for her own "selfishness". It is a good thing that both of you are working with individual therapists at this time. The fact that these outlets are underground and forbidden makes them even more sexy and appealing than they would otherwise be. If she can come to a place where she can own and integrate her sexuality a little better and not need to act out these fantasies and believe in these illusions in order to feel good about her sexual desires, she has a good chance to not need the BDSM activity anymore, but until then, I seriously doubt it will lose appeal for her. A final word about therapy. People have different needs for excitement; some more than others. If you have issues with sex for pure pleasure and many of us do because that is what our Judeo-Christian-based culture teaches us to do then BDSM will appear to be perverse, and an affair based on BDSM will be extra-painful, because it is not only a betrayal of marital commitment; it is also a betrayal of values. The point was sex. Holidays like Mardi Gras are supposed to be about having a fleshy and lusty holiday free from the normal constraints of culture; but they have become watered down and Disney-fied to the point where they no longer fulfill their function. Love was probably never the point to that relationship. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. No correspondence takes place. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician. BDSM is about sexual intensity; it is not about making love. I found out all by finding emails in a secret account.

Bomdage sex

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1 thoughts on “Bomdage sex”


05.12.2017 at 10:12 pm

It began after a high school reunion when an old flame asked her if she had any sexual fantasies.

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