Narcissists capitalize on the compassion of others and exploit their sympathy in any way they can, depending upon what their goal is at the time. By monopolizing the conversation, they exert their control and avoid taking responsibility or addressing important issues. Sadly, they become more adept at explaining the definitions of these terms than most mental health professionals because they are not just terms learned through memorization, but rather words learned through painful, real-life experiences. But for those who have had intimate relationships with a narcissist for any length of time, it almost becomes an unsettling necessity to search for answers and put the pieces together to restore their equilibrium and unearth the reality of the absolute insanity that had become their normal existence. What they say and do when no one is watching is drastically different from what they say and do in the presence of others. Third, they must mourn the loss of their identity that had been eclipsed under the crushing weight of the imbalance and inequity of their relationship.
Without awareness and education about narcissistic abuse, the chances that a survivor will end up in another abusive relationship are infinitely higher. Why did my sibling always make me feel like I was to blame? When and if they resort to character assignation, their comments more closely resemble the truth and tend to resemble slander. Instead, the narcissist will get angry at you for being upset and blame you for your lack of empathy in not considering that they may be having a bad week, stress at work or so on. Through garnering pity, narcissists will play the victim, while vilifying the real victim, as a way of concealing their abusive behavior and avoid taking responsibility for their cruel and deceitful actions. Narcissists capitalize on the compassion of others and exploit their sympathy in any way they can, depending upon what their goal is at the time. Perhaps, it has even crossed your mind that you would have been better off conversing with a brick wall because the wall would have more capacity of providing understanding, validation, and empathy than the narcissist in your life! They will make you wish you never disagreed with them in the first place and regret that you had ever dared to express your point of view. Emotional abuse is as devastating as any other kind of abuse. Survivors voraciously ingest the massive amounts of information permeating the world-wide web. Sometimes the narcissist will use the silent treatment just to assess the amount of control they have over people. Narcissists use the silent treatment as a form of punishment for not acquiescing to their point of view or as the way to gain the upper hand and control in their relationships. Narcissists will also tend to demand a perfectly delivered apology. The narcissist will expect you to keep your promise and will minimize and invalidate your feelings by portraying themselves as the victim. Often, it will be used as a tactic to create distance and free up space to engage in infidelity or pursue new admirers. More From Thought Catalog. It is so much more pathological and insidious than they could have ever imagined; and even worse, there is no cure. Victims are left feeling destroyed, as the silent treatment kills any possibility of reconciliation. While many people with ADHD and other mental disorders struggle with problems of poor impulsivity or poor communication and often interrupt others, the narcissist intentionally interrupts to redirect the focus of the conversation back to themselves since they believe their opinions are superior and correct, and that whatever they say should be accepted as the gospel truth. In their minds, their ability to dominate conversations confirms their superiority. A simple disagreement will often incite a full-fledged attack on you. You, in turn, instinctively defend yourself, and the narcissist, just like Houdini, makes the original topic of their bad behavior disappear and escapes having to take any accountability for their actions. Narcissists never enter into conversations. Finally, this awareness forces them to mourn the loss of three people, only amplifying and adding to their grief. Second, they must mourn the loss of the person they believed their narcissist had the potential to be. Why did my mother never apologize? Why did my partner always think they were right?
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The psychology of narcissism - W. Keith Campbell
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